Heaven is For Real

I read the book Heaven is For Real this weekend, and I can't stop thinking about it. Right before I got pregnant with Jackson, I had a miscarriage. I have always been thankful that God blessed me with Jackson, and I know that had I not had the miscarriage I would not have my precious boy. Still, there has always been a part of me that wonders about that baby that died in my belly. In the book Heaven is For Real, a 4 year old boy (pastor's son) goes to Heaven during an emergency appendectomy. After his surgery he wakes up to tell all of the things that he experienced in Heaven. While there, he meets his sister who died in his mommy's tummy before she conceived him. Since reading this book, I cannot stop thinking about my baby who is up in Heaven. I guess it has made me think about things differently. I know that everyone believes something different about what happens when we get to Heaven, but after reading this book, I look forward to the day that I get to meet my little boy or girl who is up there watching over our family. It's a great book! You should check it out! :)

My Big Boy . . .the best big brother in the world

I am so proud of my big boy! Jackson is such an awesome kid. He has such a sweet disposition. He is helpful, smart, funny. I could go on and on about him. He's my little buddy. He has recently become very independent. He wants to do everything by himself. It's cute, but sometimes it makes me sad because I realize that he is growing up. He still wants his mommy when he falls down or first thing in the morning when he wakes up so that makes me happy. I don't know what I will when he starts to REALLY be independent. One of the things that I love the most about him is how wonderful he is with Kaden. He is the best big brother. Both boys just adore each other. When Jackson walks into the room, Kaden will follow him with his eyes and just grin from ear to ear. Jackson is always giving Kaden kisses and hugs and trying to play with him. The other day Kaden was in his crib and I was getting Jackson's dinner ready. Kaden started crying and before I knew it I could hear Jackson on the monitor talking to Kaden. He came back downstairs and he said, "I'm sorry Mommy. I tried to make him happy, but it didn't work." He seemed so sad that he could not make him stop crying. It was pretty cute.

Jackson always wants to hold Kaden, and he always asks at times when it is not really possible. When he does get to hold him he gets so excited.
He always wants to play with Kaden so anytime Kaden is on the floor, Jackson is right there beside him.

Kurt and I both had 2 hour delays the other day so we were taking our time getting ready. Both boys were up and Jackson was watching a cartoon. We walked into the living room and found him sitting right next to Kaden with his little arm around him. They were both watching the tv. It was so cute.
Jackson has been OBSESSED with Toy Story lately. He got Toy Story 3 for Christmas, and I bet he has watched it 30 times since then. My best friend bought him a Buzz Lightyear costume for Christmas, too. He seriously wore it for 2 days straight. He would not take it off. He even napped in it. It's cute, but we had to put it away so he would actually not want to wear it every second of every day. Haha.

He even had to wear it when Dani, Scott, & the kids came over so he could show them.
He's such an awesome kid. He just amazes us everyday with how smart he is and how kind he is. His teachers at school adore him, and they tell me all the time what a great little boy he is. It makes me really proud.

My Happy Boy

I have to admit that during the first 7 weeks of Kaden's life I really wondered if he would ever be happy like his brother. He cried ALL.THE.TIME. It just broke my heart, and to be honest, it took me awhile to bond with him because we were both so stressed. Then, I discovered Dr. Nancy. She is an infant chiropractor (yeah . . I know. I had never heard of that either), and she is an angel. We went to see her a couple times and Kaden was instantly a different child. Poor little guy had a pinched nerve in his neck from the stress from his broken bones, and his cranium was all jacked up. Anyway, when she would work on him you could just see the calm come over him. It was AMAZING!! He would just stare at her and smile! Anyway, these days you would never know that the poor little guy had a rough start. He is so happy and he's just so much fun. Here are just a few pics of my happy boy. Enjoy!

I know this sounds sappy, but I have never been happier. I love my life. We've finally finished the house. I work 10 minutes from home so I get to spend all kinds of time with Kurt and the boys. I have a wonderful husband and two wonderful boys. I really can't complain about anything, and I am looking forward to seeing what the future holds for my family. :)

Jackson's Mini Me

I've been looking at a lot of pictures of Kaden lately and thinking they look just like Jackson when he was a baby. Well, the other day I took a picture of Kaden in his exersaucer (yes, he's big enough for one of those already . . .tear) and it looked JUST like a picture that we have of Jackson. You see for yourself.

The only difference is that Kaden has a little darker complexion and his eyes are a little darker. Other than that, though, they look just like each other. We definitely cannot deny that they are brothers. :) I'm anxious to see what they look like as they get older. . . .although they can take their time with that. They are already growing up so quickly. All I know is that I have two beautiful little boys, and I could just stare at them and kiss them all day long. :)

Just so I remember

Kurt was upstairs working on the floor in Jackson's room, and I heard the radio turn up. Keith Urban's Making Memories of Us was on. . . our first dance song at our wedding. Before I knew it, Kurt was down here pulling me up to dance with him. I cried. :) Haha! I just want to remember this because he doesn't do very many "romantic" things. I don't appreciate him enough . . . He's a great husband and a terrific father. He's our #1 advocate in all situations and we are lucky to have him. :)

My precious boys. . .

Jackson is so excited about his new little brother. He wants to kiss and hug him all the time, and he is always saying, "He's so sweet, Mommy." I just love it that he is such a good big brother. He is always eager to help us when we are changing Kaden's diaper or whatever it is that we may be doing at the time. Sometimes he is a little too aggressive without meaning to be but I am sure he'll get better with that as he gets used to Kaden being around.

Just because I want to remember how cute they look together . . .

What a few weeks it has been

Where has the last month gone?! Being away from home for so long really stunk, but I have learned a lot of things in the process.

August 30th FINALLY arrived after nearly 3 weeks in the hospital. I was so nervous for the c-section (which was really not bad, by the way), and I was so excited to meet my newest little man. The day seems like somewhat of a blur now. First of all, my nurse that day was awesome! She was so much fun, and I am glad she was with me. My OB is another story. . . she came into the room at around 10ish and asked if it was okay if she took a photo of my placenta because of the split placenta. I said I didn't care, and then she said to my nurse that she would meet us in the OR at 11:30. Michelle said we would head back there at 11:00 to start getting everything ready for the c-section, and my doc said okay. Everything was going really well in the OR. In case you've never had one I will tell you that a Spinal starts working CRAZY FAST!! I swear as soon as she stuck me with the needle my body was numb from the breast down. Anyway, I was getting excited and just trying to breath to stay calm until Kurt came into the room. He got there shortly after (he's awesome by the way!)! Then, I heard my nurse talking about the time, and the anesthesiologist was almost pacing behind my head. I looked at the clock to see that the clock said 11:40!! She was TEN MINUTES LATE. The next two minutes felt like ten minutes until she came in at 11:42. Seriously, TWELVE MINUTES LATE????? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM LADY!!!! Anyway, she came in and made a comment about waiting for us to call to tell her we were ready. . .she clearly said she would meet us here at 11:30 just an hour or so ago!! I heard her and so did my nurse!! Anyway, Kaden was born by 11:47. Now, I know that c-sections are quick, but she came in the door at 11:42 and he was completely out by 11:47 . . . completely out with TWO BROKEN BONES!!! I just cannot help but thinking that if she had been on time or had taken a little more time to gently reposition his arm we would not have had to spend the next 4 days going back and forth between my room and the NICU to see him. That's really hard when trying to recover from having a c-section. Not to mention that every time I see the look of pain on his face and hear him cry that "I'm in pain" cry it makes me so angry at her. He is such a champ though. Unless we are doing something that is messing with his arm (changing his clothes, etc.) he really doesn't cry. He's such a good baby!! We are really so blessed.

In the NICU, Kaden looked so pitiful. He was on a lot of Tylenol, and he had to be fed through a tube (which was really not much fun for him or for mommy or daddy to watch).

I was discharged on Thursday night and Kaden had to stay in the NICU. I didn't want to leave him, but I had told Jackson that I would be home Thursday night and I did not want to disappoint him after being gone for 3 1/2 weeks. He was pretty excited for me to be home so I am glad that I made the decision. Kurt and I were so worn out on Thursday and just going home and getting a good night sleep in my bed made all the difference in the world. I was also able to dry my hair for the first time in 3 1/2 weeks and I cannot tell you how good that felt. :) I was like a new woman. Now, I have not dried it again since then . . .HAHA! It was nice that day though. :) We fully anticipated spending Labor Day weekend going back and forth between home and the NICU, but when the doctors came in on Friday morning, they said Kaden had done everything he needed to do to be released to come home on Friday. We were shocked and completely unprepared to take him home. . . we didn't have a diaper bag with us or anything. The NP said that if we had asked her the day before about him going home she would have said no way, but he did so well from Thursday to Friday that she thought he would do fine at home with us. We were so excited. . . and I think us leaving was just enough to make Kaden work to get home with Mommy and Daddy. :) Anyway, we are thrilled to be home with our family of FOUR. Jackson and Wrigley have both been great with Kaden. Jackson is the BEST big brother Ever!!

Saturday was a relaxing day. Susie came up to make us dinner and help out with some things around the house, but other than that it was just us, which was nice. On Sunday, we had a house full of visitors. Andrea, one of my BFFs, came up from St. Louis to visit and meet Kaden. I haven't seen her in forever so it was really nice to see her. I hate living so far away, but whenever we are together it is like we haven't missed a beat.
My family came up too. Mom, Dad, Hunter, Denise, Adrianna, and Tianna all made their way up to see us. Denise and the girls have never seen our house so it was really nice to have them up here. We actually got a photo of Mom and Dad with all five grandkids, which never happens without someone having a sour look on their face. :) It actually turned out really well, though.
Kaden decided to stay awake all night last night so everyone else in the house is sleeping right now, which is why I have had time to write such a LONG blog entry. Sorry about that! :) Regardless of the 3 1/2 weeks that I had to be away from home, the pain from the c-section, the NICU stay for Kaden, etc., I have never been happier in my life. My time away has really taught me to think about the things that really matter in life. I've learned to be more patient, and I've learned that leaning on God in trying times will get you through anything. I am so incredibly blessed to have a wonderful husband who helps around the house, takes care of our boys' needs, defends us and advocates for us at all times, and loves us so much. I am also blessed to have two beautiful boys who are so sweet.

I really feel like the luckiest woman alive and I have never been happier with my life. This experience has really made me learn to lean on God and has strengthened my belief that all things happen for a reason. I really did not look forward to the experiences that I have had in the last month, but now that all is said and done, I realize what an important role this month has had in my life . . . now and for the rest of my days. I love my family! I love my life!

Happy Labor Day everyone! :)